Today was my weigh in day, which coincidently is also TOM. I gained, as a result of poor choices over the weekend, which, in retrospect, I believe were PROBABLY influenced by stupid hormones. I was a witch to deal with. Just ask my husband.
I honestly don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I try, I fail, I try, I succeed, I try, I fail again…just this cycle, over and over again. I don’t know where to go for help. It’s not that I DON’T WANT to succeed, it’s that I can’t find the will power to do it? My emotions and stress get the best of me? My problem is not the plan, it’s following it. This battle is COMPLETELY mental.
Where do I start? Go to a therapist? I’m scared to do that. Change my life and rid myself of the stress? That feels like giving up, to an extent. Some things can be changed, and will be changed, but just not yet.
It’s easy to say JUST DO IT. But I have come to realize that it’s much more complex than that this time around. What changed? What am I doing differently? Why do I lack the motivation? How do I get it back?
If I had given up, I would weigh 288 lbs. again. I have still kept off about 60 lbs. That’s something. But if something doesn’t change, I will gain it all back. Sometimes I feel too overwhelmed to try to figure it all out—which is why I keep doing what I’m doing. At least I’m pretty much staying within a weight range.
Is there anyone out there like me? Someone who lost a lot of weight but then got stuck and gained some back? Struggled like this? Please help!
This week could be TOM, but the back and forth has been going on for MONTHS. So I understand today’s gain should come off next week—if I stick with it like I should. I’m looking at the big picture here and I need help if I want to reach my goals.
I am always struggling, but I believe the struggle is what keeps me from weighing 300 pounds. I'd rather struggle than just give up.
ReplyDeleteWould you ever consider something like St. John's Wort? I swear to you it really helped my PMS/hormonal craziness in the past and is starting to kick in again now (it takes about 4 weeks before it gets into your system). Basically, it's a antidepressant/antianxiety med without all the side effects. I found a brand that has gotten raves about being better than others, and I can testify that it doesn't taste nasty like the others! Lol It's got more of the rich ingredients and is supposed to work better. I think you take some other meds, so I know you'd have to check about that, but maybe trying something simple like that for 1 to 2 months first would help. If you want more info about it or about the brand I bought, just email me. I am SO SORRY, Alissa. I haven't lost a big amount of weight - you know that. But I did lose the almost 25 and then gained it all back plus some. And no matter how much KNOWLEDGE I have about WHAT to do... I just can't seem to stick with anything to actually do it! :( It's so frustrating and depressing. I hope you get the help you want. I'm sorry I don't have better suggestions. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI hope you find the solution you are looking for. Is there anything recently in your life that's impeding your success? Maybe you don't need to seek a therapist but someone who you can talk to? I find when I'm gaining weight it's normally due to other factors that's bugging me. Food is such an easy comfort to turn to and it's always there.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you. You can do this!
Yep.
ReplyDeleteDidn't gain anything back, but I do believe that you and I are paddling in the same god damn canoe right now. You ain't alone, girlfriend. I'm right there with you and this TOM stuff and this mental block bullshit. And I despise it.
What should we do, Alissa?
Something has to change.
Oh boy have I struggled!! I lost 50lbs, but once I got there, I couldn't maintain it. The harder I tried to lose, the more I seemed to gain/lose/gain/lose. Then we got pregnant, and it just got worse. At the moment, I'm 5 lbs above my starting weight before I lost the 50 lbs. I don't really feel like I'm in a position to give advice.. But since we're both doing the clean eating thing.. ;)
ReplyDeleteThis time feels different. It's that TOM for me, too, and I have zero cravings, I don't feel ragey (I was on Xanax the week before TOM before). The only thing I've done differently was change how we eat. We got rid of everything that didn't fit into our definition of clean (I say our definition because it seems to mean different things to different people). We cut out a LOT so I have no idea if removing something specific helped or not. I just know that it's easier. I don't have to fight temptation anymore, because I truly don't want it now. And I stopped counting calories and points, don't have a "weigh in." I've just been focusing on eating whole, real foods and not dieting. It's working for me, maybe putting the scale away and quitting the "diet" for a while may help you, too. The stressing about it sure isn't helping :( I hope you find what works for you!!
I agree that a lot of this is mental because it is for me. I'm not sure how I got to the right mindset each time I lost weight but once I gained it back, I would go for years without regaining my momentum. Even after six years of maintaining with WW, I had two years where I was over my goal by ten to fifteen pounds. Looking back, it is easy to see that I let the stress of my job take control but when I was in that mode, I was clueless about what was going on with me and my weight.
ReplyDeleteIf you do not read Marion's blog at Affection for Fitness, she just did a talk on how we need to deal with the "why" we're overweight to be successful. She also cites a study done on this subject. Here is the link: http://affectionforfitness.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-most-important-weight-loss.html
I hope it is helpful. Hang in there.
Hiya, Remember me? I was "290 and down we go" but gave it up a while back.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long time since I left a comment but I am still here reading and I can say how much this post has struck a chord. I lost alot of weight, I was rather close to your weight at one point and then I started piling it back on. And I mean PILING it back on. I'm more or less back to where I started and EVERY set back makes me feel worse.
This week is the start of a new phase for me, I wont go back to blogging about it as I feel a big fat fraudulent failure right now. I KNOW I can do it, I have done it and I need to get back to how I was when I had it right but it's a struggle when you use the same weight loss system for a long period.
Like I said, I wont do a diet blog, not for a while anyway, who knows what the future holds but I am behind you every step of the way.
Don't give up, put these bad times down to experience and just do what you can.
All the best,
Becca xxxx
I have to totally agree that it's all a head game. Well that and hormonal.
ReplyDeleteI've been at goal weight and made life time with Weight Watchers. Stress from a bad marriage among other things and I packed it back on.
Now I'm working to getting back to where I feel my best.
I did end up going for therapy but not for the eating part and it did help.
All I can say is don't give up and keep trying. It will click.
I read this and the whole time was saying to myself "This is totally me!!!" I lost around 70 pounds and have put 15 back on little by little since Christmas. I am stuck and really can't figure out what happened or what needs to change in order to get moving again in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteIt's frustrating to put such effort into something and for the results not to be what we want/expect. I have done this before and should be able to do it again. I don't know why this time is different and why it's not working like before.
I know, in my head, that keeping at it and being consistent is only going to help and things will start moving again. However, my heart doesn't want to be rational and that's the hardest part of all.
You might be putting too much pressure on yourself to fall into a plan - like clean eating that rather than the big picture. The big picture is that you need to plan ahead, get moving and nourish the body. YES that's WAYYYY easier said than done, if it were that easy, I wouldn't have 100lbs to lose and neither would anyone else.
ReplyDeleteBut ever since I started with that mentality, and stopped looking at everything as this huge drastic change I'm forcing in my life, I've let my life and the chaos of it mold around small changes. It's not been fast, but since taking this new attitude, and stopping forcing an all or nothing outlook, I've lost 18lbs and I feel stronger than ever that I can continue. Of course there will be gains, that's a part of life. Of course there will be weeks I don't lose, but that doesn't mean I'm not getting healthier. It's not all about the numbers, there's so much more to it than that.
Therapy doesn't just up and change your life, but it gives you the tools to manage life a little better. Maybe it's what you need, maybe it's not. But you need to give yourself a break for what the scale says in a week.
This is a lifelong process - you're still healthier now than you were last month and there's no denying that.
I agree the weight could be a result of hormones, etc - but I believe all of our weight issues are much deeper. Yes, some people have physical issues which cause weight gain. However, I believe the large majority of us have mental issues that result in our weight gain -- food becomes a coping mechanism for something much deeper -- whether it is stress, "life", situations or triggers that are out of our control.
ReplyDeleteI'm probably the minority but I think therapy is a great idea. If nothing else it allows you to unload all of your feelings on someone who is completely unbiased to your situation - who is educated in how to probe and redirect your thinking and allow you to deal with whatever the underlying issues may be.
My heart goes out to you - I was up and down for MONTHS and it was heartbreaking. Your life does have to change if you expect to see results - but you can do it! Weight loss is a huge mental battle as well as being a struggle to stick with healthy eating and exercising. Talking to someone about it might help and is NOT giving up. You're doing great - you've had some set backs but you keep getting up and trying. I've loved reading your blog and seeing your enthusiasm to be healthier in lots of different ways so I KNOW you can do this!!
ReplyDeleteBy the way - this is Jodi from www.fatornotblog.com - I'm having some issues with openID lol.
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ReplyDeleteDont loose hope,keep passions.One of my friend from kensington escorts agency also had same problem but now she is ok...
ReplyDelete