Chronic Worry and 1st Run Outside of the Year

I woke up feeling emotionally worn out this morning. I have a tendency to WORRY. It’s often about what I said, shouldn’t have said, shouldn’t have done, or didn’t do. I just always feel so disconnected. I always feel like no one likes me or that I am unlikable. It’s a constant battle within myself.

I know that this probably isn’t TRUE. But it’s how I feel. I feel awkward in social situations. I worry about everything. I have to remind myself that it’s not all about me. As in, the things people say, how they act, or how I interpret it does not mean it is automatically MY fault or my problem. Everyone comes with their own set of baggage and I don’t need to accept responsibility for it all. BUT I do need to accept responsibility when it is mine. My problem is differentiating between the two and then accepting it and letting it go.

Most recently, it was about my inability to handle a situation without being snarky in response to someone who said something which irritated and annoyed me. I feel bad about it and then I just let it consume me.

I feel better just writing about it. So thanks for listening.

For breakfast, I ate Ezekiel toast with almond butter and sliced bananas. I also had skim milk.

Here is the almond butter I picked up at TJ’s a couple of weeks ago.

I forgot how tasty almond butter is. I hadn’t bought it for a long time because I had a jar of not-so-good almond butter that turned me off for a while.

While working, I drank my Dunkin Donuts coconut coffee with natural vanilla creamer.

On my break, I ate a KIND bar.

I bought 3 big boxes of these with a Groupon and there is only one bar left!!

I’m wondering if I can buy them in bulk again. I might have to check out Sam’s Club. Anyone know if they sell them? Yes, they are 4-5 points each, but I have found they are VERY satisfying. When I eat them, I don’t want more snacks. So I actually eliminate an extra snack.

For lunch, I ate leftover ham and veggie soup. I had two cups. A little emotional eating, I think. But I was hungry!

And also had the rest of the fresh pineapple.

I was hungry on my last break and wanted something sweet. I made clean eating chocolate pudding with Chobani 0%.

I brought back a cup of coffee to my desk.

This cup reminded me of our cruise last year. Grand Cayman is my favorite place that I have ever visited. If only I could be there right now! Instead, I listened to a little Kenny Chesney beach music and felt better.

I also made some popcorn in a brown paper sack. This is all you need.

Except don’t burn it like I did!

This afternoon, I noticed a lot of the neighbors starting to slowly venture outside. That meant that the weather was nice!! I could not wait to get outside.

My goal was to run 1 mile. And I did it. It took about all I had in me to do it, but I did it. I have a ways to go to get back to where I was. Here I am pre-run.

It took me 13:05 to complete 1 mile. My average pace is generally 12:30, but I could run faster than that. So I was pretty slow today. But I need to be proud of what I did—so much better than what I’ve BEEN doing—which is not much!

I walked the rest of the distance. Here are my stats:

and my pace:

I guess I was tired after that run, look how slow I walked!! lol.

It was 45 degrees outside but the cold air killed my chest! Ouch! But it was SO nice to be outside. My iPod died right after my run, so instead, I listened to the birds chirping and the water running down the streets.

I actually forgot to mention yesterday that I biked for 20 minutes in the morning.

While typing up this post, I ate some clementines.

Hubby is on his way home and will be here in about an hour! I can’t wait!! So I’m going to wrap it up now so I can spend time with him tonight.

I’m really proud of myself for getting out there and running today. I have to start somewhere! And guess what? Tomorrow is Friday!!