My 2 Cents

As I have been reading the blogs of various other people trying to lose weight and the blogs of those who have been successful at losing weight I have been encouraged. The blogs are a source of inspiration for me. I see where others have been and where they are going or where they have gone. I love to see the metamorphosis.

Here's the thing that's been bothering me and while this is not true for the majority of the blogs I read, I have seen it enough times for it to give me a bitter taste.

When you get where you're going, please remember where you've come from. Making fun of fat people, showing pictures of morbidly obese people is just not a nice thing to do. None of us wants to be morbidly obese, but the people you're making fun of are just that- PEOPLE. Do you remember when people used to make fun of you and call you fat? Do you remember those feelings of shame? While you have every right to feel wonderful and proud of yourself, don't forget where you've come from. Don't forget the way you felt. The hopelessness and the hurt. The obese people that you see with their heads cut off for privacy on tv have probably struggled just like you and me. They may be struggling and just haven't gotten to that place where it just clicks. This really isn't just about laziness, but a psychological issue that has to be addressed before the weight comes off. Do you remember that struggle?

Don't forget where you came from and have empathy for others because you've been there too. This journey changes you but it can also make you wiser.

Product Review- Pop Chips

I found a coupon for these in a magazine a while back and decided to give them a try. Boy am I glad that I did! They are absolutely delicious. I got the BBQ flavor and I actually like them better than Baked BBQ Lays. They're about the same amount of points. It's 3 points for 19 chips. They are airy and crunchy and full of delicious BBQ flavor. They're popped, not baked. Price wise, they were a little on the expensive side. I would definitely buy them again if I found them on sale or had a coupon. The bag has 3 servings, so it doesn't last too long. I just love these and can't wait to try the other flavors!

You can read more about them here.

Weigh In Day

This morning I lost 3 lbs! That puts me at a total lost of 35.6 lbs. I am at my lowest yet.

This morning I was up at 4:30 AM to ride the bike. I thought I could do that and read at the same time but it proved a little bit difficult. Magazines are ok, but reading books that require concentration are a little bit harder!

I usually post at the end of the day so I can reflect on my choices throughout the day, but I don't know if I will have time tonight. I was so excited to lose that I just had to get on here and report it!

Have a great day! :)

1st Day Back at School

This morning was so nice to be able to sleep in until 6:45. I was planning on sleeping until 7:00 but my internal alarm clock said I was ready to get up 15 minutes earlier. Fine with me! I love when I can wake up naturally.

This morning I ran on the treadmill and biked as a cool down. The hip seemed to be fine and it's actually not even sore right now. I do have an appointment tomorrow afternoon at the Chiropractor though.

My schedule is very weird for school. Today went well because I had the day off of work. I ate an 8:00 big breakfast. 1 egg w/ 2 egg whites, 1/2 cup broccoli, tomato, English muffin w/ PB, peach, and milk. I have class from 11-1:45 so I knew that lunch was out of the picture. It worked out really well and I was satisfied until after class and then I had some snacks of a banana, cheese stick, natural honey bunny grahams, and some pop chips. I counted all of the points and I still have a lot left. I could probably improve the snacks a little bit.

Here's the thing. Next week I will be back to work. So I will eat breakfast at 5 AM, work 7-10 with no breaks. Then head to school from 11-1:45. Where do I fit my meals in? I think what I'm going to do is bring things like cheese sticks, a bagel w/ PB or cream cheese, or fruit to eat in the car on the way to school. Then it will be like a mini meal to get me through school. I know I will be starving by the time I leave work though. Any ideas? I would really appreciate your suggestions. I can't stop anywhere as 1 hour is just enough time to drive to school and get into class. The food has to be easy to eat in the car.

I do have a NSV to share though! My campus is on a hill. So everywhere you walk is pretty much up and down hills. On my way to class, it's up hills and then up stairs. Last semester I would be practically all out of breath by the time I got to the building. This time, my heart rate was definitely raised, but I think I was walking faster than before and I definitely wasn't so out of breath!!! HOORAY for NSV's!!!

Exhausted

Today was back to work again. On my commute to work I thought about how I would try to be more positive. I would try to be more patient with everyone around me and try to just go to work to work and forget all of the politics. The moment I sat at my desk and opened my email I was upset again. Time after time we are all treated unfairly and treated like we're nothing. I'm so tired of it. I was about ready to blow a gasket when they handed me a schedule with 10 hour days and working Saturdays when they specifically told me I would get a certain schedule without Saturdays. I called my hubby and said "this is it, if it's not a mistake I'm quitting." He said, "ok." Which surprised me! haha I don't think he likes to see me so stressed either. But turned out it was a mistake and all is fine on that front. Thanks for listening to me vent...now moving on!

I wish I could say that despite being stressed out and feeling sorry for myself that I ate flawlessly today. I ate cookies form the vending machine. OOO I know, not the best decision. It did nothing to make me feel better. Lesson learned. I came home and cooked mac and cheese out of the box, which is probably a yearly thing. We don't eat it much. I measured out portions, so in the end that was ok, but not the best! I can always do better.

Tomorrow is back to school for me! I've had one of my professors before so I'm sure that will be fine, but not sure about the other. I took tomorrow off, so it will be nice to sleep in and get home early. I'll have plenty of time for a morning workout tomorrow. This morning I rode the bike because I wasn't so sure about running with my hip hurting, but I think I'm going to run tomorrow regardless.

I am motivated as ever to continue. I may have slip ups along the way, but I know without a doubt I am going to be a healthy person overall. I just know it. I believe in myself.

Update

My hubby thought I should see his chiropractor, so he made an appointment for me today. I went in and she took a look at me and could tell something was wrong because my left shoulder was higher than my right and supposedly my one leg was longer than the other because of it. How weird. She did all of the things that make my hip hurt! It turns out that my 4th Lumbar was out of place in my back and my hip was pretty bad. She said that is why my leg and my heel hurt also. Her diagnosis said I had a sprain somewhere in there. Anyways, long story short, I have to go back again next week. She said it will take a while to get it back to where it's supposed to be. She told me to definitely keep running but if I feel any pain I need to stop so that I don't undo the progress that we're making. I tell ya what though, I am sore EVERYWHERE now. Immediately after the appointment I felt pretty good as the numbness was gone from my leg. But as the day has gone on my hip hurts again but so does my back, neck, butt, and shoulders. She really popped everything! Good to know that I'm getting the problem fixed though.

I Need to Crack!

Help! Ever since I started running I have gotten minor pain, I'd call it more discomfort, from my lower back (mostly my hip area), down my leg. It's kind of numb. Usually my hip will crack and it goes away. It's always my left hip, never the right.

The hip discomfort has not gone away since I ran yesterday morning. It seems worse this time and I can't seem to do anything to crack my hip. I thought this was unrelated, but I also have a sharp pain in my heal when I walk/run. I am supposed to run today according to my schedule. Should I do it anyways or wait for this pain to go away? I'm starting to think maybe I should visit a chiropractor.

By the way, I think this is weird and wonder if anyone else notices this. After running, I go to work and if I so much as turn my head, my whole neck cracks. If I turn around, my whole back cracks. Every single part of my body will start cracking if I move it. It's the weirdest thing. Does running loosen your body up or something? Will this make me get arthritis? Am I being paranoid? haha :) Any advice on these things would GREATLY be appreciated!

Feeling Special

Thanks so much to Hadley for giving me the Very Lovely Blog award. This is my first award ever, so it made me feel oh so special. :)

I’m supposed to post 15 blogs here, but I’m going to stop at my 1 favorite so maybe I should post Hadley’s special award instead (these are in no particular order):

1. Hadley, of course! She’s so smart and her statistics and graphs are always so interesting to look at.

2. Lori at Finding Radiance. Her progress is absolutely amazing. She’s lost so much weight and turned into such an athlete. I look to her for inspiration!

3. Losing Waist! She is always so completely honest about everything. Her posts are always an interesting read!

4. Confessions of a + sized girl. Her posts are always so positive and happy. I always go away with a smile on my face after reading her blog.

5. Diane at Fit to The Finish. Here is another inspiration. She has lost weight and kept it off. She has the best advice and offers the best things to think about on her blog.

6. Julie at New Start ~ New Life. Julie’s posts are always so fun to read. From weight loss to guys. Her dating adventures are so entertaining!

7. Learning to be Less. She is so motivated it’s amazing! She just completed her Fat Camp Summer and the results were amazing!

8. Becca at Becca’s Journey. It’s always interesting to see her meals. She always has the nicest, helpful comments!

9. Darci at My Road to Weight Loss. Ok, so she hasn’t posted for a long time but she’s still one of my favorite bloggers. Her posts are always so interesting and full of photos! I hope she comes back!

10. Angie at Angie all the Way. She’s lost so much weight- what an inspiration! I love all of the photos she posts. Always upbeat!

WI DAY

First of all, let me give my stats for the week:

Weekly Remaining: 19
Active Points Earned: 23

Did I deserve to gain .8 lb this week? I don't think so. Do you?

I'm going to keep pushing along though. Someday this will pay off!

NSV and Last Chance Workout

It seems like I get to go home from work a lot on Tuesdays and end up mowing the lawn. So I decided to deem this my "Last Chance Workout," as Wednesdays are weigh in days for me. This is such a workout for me and takes about 45 minutes!

When I used to mow the lawn I'd have to stop one or two times while mowing the lawn to sit down because I was so tired. Lately, I have been able to get through the entire thing without stopping once. It's awesome to see this building of endurance!

Sunday, my hubby and I went for a bike ride. We hadn't been on a bike ride together since the 4th of July and this is when I started working out every morning. He commented on how fast I was going and how hard I was working out. After he pointed that out I couldn't believe it either! It looks like my morning workouts are really paying off! This morning I decided to do the stationary bike. It's kind of the workout I do when I'm not really feeling like getting up. A little less impact, more relaxing, but always a good workout.

Freezer Jam

My husband’s parents gave us a box of these:

Which are the world’s best peaches from Missouri! YUM! We couldn’t eat them all fresh, although we’re trying! I decided to make freezer jam with some of them using this recipe (you can click on it to see it larger):

Here are the peaches peeled and cut up:

And all mashed up, it’s amazing how much juice is in these things!

Measuring out the sugar (I cut out a little from the recipe):

And the lemon juice:

Then boiling the Sure-Jell with water, what’s in this stuff anyways?

And mix it in with the sugar and then miracles happen. ;)

Pour it into containers:

TA DA:

I know, I’m a nerd but I had fun with this! hehe I also used some peaches to make a fantastic peach pie. Didn’t get a picture of that before we dug in. I counted my points though and I still have 1/2 pt left over at the end of the day. :)

A Scare

My apologies to anyone who may have tired to view my blog last night and found it to be private. I have two blogs. This one and a personal one. I have different email addresses for each one so that no one I know in my personal life ever sees this one. I'm very self-conscious about everything I have on here. I know everyone could probably guess how much I weigh, but I don't think everyone would understand the struggles that I have with food like all of you on here do. I have told my parents that I have this blog and they respect my wish for privacy and would never try to find it, they think it's a great idea for me and can see how much it helps me along this journey.

Well, last night when I was sound asleep, my husband's phone rang. It was my Mom just wanting to warn me that I had accidently posted a comment on my sister-in-law's blog with my journey to thin user name. This is not the first time that I have done this, actually it's the 2nd! So I was up and all worried about that. My sister-in-law is very understanding and has deleted my comments both times. I don't think anyone saw this blog because my tracker didn't show anyone from the midwest area where I live. I HOPE! If you are someone that I know personally reading this, just know that I am very embarassed! haha.

Does anyone else feel this way? Do you share your blog with your family and friends? How would you feel if those you know personally read what you write on here?

Just Another Thursday

This morning I decided to try out my Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga dvd again. Yoga looks so cool and stylish to me, but actually doing it is so hard! I really wish that I had the strength that the people in the video have to be able to hold those moves. Some of them I am ok with but others are about impossible! I guess it will just take time and persistence.

I found out yesterday that I don't have enough money from my direct loans to cover my 2 classes. I am about $700 short. I don't know how anyone could afford going to school? It was a big sigh of relief to learn that my school will let me set up a 3 month payment plan. I was so afraid I would have to drop a class. I still have to buy books on top of that! I'm actually looking forward to going back. I'm going to love my work schedule if I get what I requested!

I'm so happy that tomorrow is finally Friday! Really looking forward to the weekend, as always. Tonight, we're just going to relax and I can't wait! Yummy supper planned for tonight! My eating has been right on track. I actually had .5 point left over last night! :)

Weigh in Day!!!

Finally a weigh in day that went right! It's a direct effect of eating right for a few days! I lost 3.2 lbs this week! The amazing part is that I've lost 5 lbs since Saturday, actually. It feels so good to be back on track!

I'm pretty hungry today but I have stuck to my points. I'm hoping for big results next week too! :)

Anticipation

Tomorrow is weigh in day, and for the first time in a while I am excited to see what the results are! This morning showed some very good progress on the scale, I just have to keep my fingers crossed that it either goes even further down tomorrow or I stay the same.

I got up this morning and biked for 30 minutes. Went off to work and it was the same old. I ended up leaving around noon. It's really hot outside today, but I decided to mow the lawn. Wow is that a workout! Maybe that will help w/ my Weigh in tomorrow!

I have been thinking lately how I cannot wait for the day when I can shop in regular stores. I want to have cute and stylish clothes! That will be so much fun for me! If I can keep this up, I'll get there someday! I just love Old Navy, and I'm sure I'll shop there the most. I've started to fit into some of the XXL shirts there. I miss their in store plus size section, but what can ya do?

Monday's Over and Done With!

I hate Mondays, but who doesn't? This morning was no different. 4:30 AM, the alarm went off and I moaned and complained that I had to get up. Hubby said, "Come on hunnie, you can do it." So I got up and trekked downstairs for my workout, which I had missed for a week. One thing after another happened to make me think, hmm, maybe I'll just take it easy this morning. But...I didn't!!

This morning marks the first day of my Couch to 5k week 2. I have NEVER NEVER NEVER in all of the times that I've tried to do this, ever progressed to week 2. Now while it's week 2 to every other person in the world, I'm going by months, so maybe I should call it month 2. Either way, I did it and I am SO proud of myself for doing it!! Here I come 5k July 4th, 2010!

I noticed this last week and didn't want to admit it while I was skipping my workouts, but I can't believe the dramatic effect in the way I feel when I work out vs. when I don't. I feel so much better when I get that workout in. I am much more energetic and happy.

Today has gone fabulously for me. I have stuck to my points and eating healthy. After supper and dessert, I will have 3.5 points left. I may choose to have milk or juice w/ supper so that would take care of a couple of points. Just knowing that my hubby is doing the same thing as me is enough to keep me strong. :) I called him this afternoon and he said he was doing great and hadn't eaten anything he shouldn't. That's the difference between he and me. When he decides he's going to do something, he does it, no questions asked.

I feel much more at peace with the work situation. I am no longer going to try to advance at this company. I am still a student and this is definitely not what I want to do with my life. :) It's so nice to have things figured out. School starts in 2 weeks. I really wanted to have my Coach purse by then, but maybe I'll shoot for my birthday on Sept. 23rd instead. :)

The Weekend

Saturday marked the start of my husband and I counting points together. I have to tell you that this is such a huge motivation for me! This morning we both lost weight. :)

I am having such fun planning meals for the both of us. He gets considerably less points than me, so I find that challenging to plan meals for him. It also makes me have more appreciation for those of you with so few points to eat during the day! I'll be there someday, but for now, I need all of my points!

Day one for my husband found him eating all of his points and 12 of his weekly points. He didn't even realize how many calories were in what he is eating. We went to eat lunch with my FIL Saturday and he cooked brats. Those kinds of things add up! Otherwise, he did great! I'm proud of him for taking a stand to lose the weight he wants to lose. He wants to lose about 19 lbs, which I think is going to make him TOO skinny! We'll see! :) I told him to set a goal reward for himself, so he's looking forward to LED tail lights for his truck. I think that he has a lot more understanding for how I struggle sometimes now that he is doing it too. He has never dieted (or needed to, not that he even needs to now...) in his life!

Tonight was the perfect example of how we can help each other. Each of us was still hungry a while after supper and wanted a snack, but since he said we better not, it helped me not to eat any more! I'm so glad that we can do this together, it's such a great motivator for me!!

A New Day

Yesterday was a complete disaster eating wise for me. It's obvious that I have eating issues when it comes to stress. That is done and over with and I'm moving on.

My husband is going to count points with me. He has just a few pounds he would like to lose. This is such a great motivator for me!! Not only will he see how tough it can be for me to follow my points sometimes, but he's helping me out a long the way! He'll probably lose all of his weight in the first week. lol. But that's ok. Maybe this will be the boost I need. :)

Another Disappointment

Today I was told that I will not get the new position that I applied for. The lady who told me said that I was her first pick but when she told the woman who makes the final decision she said, "No way, we need her on the team she's on." So I don't get the job because they like me to be unappreciated at my current position. I was upset and felt like she was telling me what I wanted to hear and not the truth so I e-mailed the woman who makes the final decision. She reconfirmed (in less butt kiss language) that I was needed on the account that I'm on. The funny thing is, I'm friends with the guy that they hired and he's on vacation right now. So when I texted him to ask what position he got (he applied for 2) he said that he hadn't had an interview yet. They told me that he was getting the job... they told me this BEFORE he had his interview. It's nice to know that I had a fair chance at this job. Why give me an interview if they knew who they wanted to hire already? I know I probably seem like a big cry baby. That was a really big slap in the face (AGAIN) and I went out to my car to bawl after they told me. Obviously, staying composed in front of everyone. I wouldn't let anyone know about that! Keep it a secret please! haha. I am a good employee, I work very hard, am dependable and have excellent scores at what I do. I've always been taught that hard work would get you somewhere. This company shows me that this quality is not valued. All that is valued is good butt kissing and this goes against my own morals and ethics.

What to do... I am making a decision to try to move on. School starts in a couple of weeks and this will allow me to be away from work more often. I'm drained. How is this affecting my diet? I'm trying my best. :) I've done very well today.

Weigh In Day

This morning I lost .2 lb. I am ok with that because I know my eating hasn't been what it should be. This week I am going to work much harder! I feel a lot better today and much more motivated. My husband and I had a little talk about how much I'm struggling with everything lately. I think my eating reflects my stress at work. He's very sweet and understanding. He even helped me think of all of the reasons I want to lose weight. Here are a few:

1. I want to be healthy.
2. I want to go off of my blood pressure meds.
3. I want to lose weight so I don't have to have hip/knee replacements at 30.
4. My coach purse goal is so close.
5. I want to go to an amusement park without feeling self conscious.
6. Hawaii at 100 lbs lost!
7. I want to look smokin' hot, which his response (of course) was, you already do! lol
8. I want to have kids and be a healthy, active mom.
9. I want to be able to run without stopping.
10. I want to run the 5k next year on the 4th of July.

These are all good reminders to me. There are so many more reasons. It's nice to feel a fresh start on Wednesdays when I know that I can track every point that I eat and that I haven't missed anything. We were out late again last night and so I didn't get up this morning for a workout again. Tomorrow I will definitely be up to run though!

Dedicated Again

I’ve been having such a hard time lately with my eating. I cannot keep focused and I eat the wrong things far too often. I feel hopeless and I don’t know what to do about it. I wish there was a magic switch I could just turn so that I could be more dedicated! I am jealous of you people who decide one day that you’re going to lose weight and so you stick to it with no slip ups, and lose the weight. How do you do it? I seem to have more slip ups than I have successes. Today they served Casey’s breakfast pizza and muffins at work. Did I have them? Yes I did. I had a small piece of the pizza and was so full from that I just ate a peach for lunch. Then by 2:00 I was hungry so I ate my free muffin. This isn’t good eating, but I know I don’t do that everyday. I’m having a hard time eating the right things. I am craving sugars and carbs. Tomorrows weigh in will be a disappointment for sure. I’m hoping that tomorrow will be a new day and new start. For the first time in a month, I didn’t get up this morning to work out. I have pledged to workout on Saturday though. I got home late last night and 4:30 am didn’t sound too appealing. Plus, my legs were sore from mowing the lawn yesterday. Excuses, excuses. I’m not very positive today. I’m feeling pretty depressed about myself. Why can’t I just STICK TO IT!?

Sunday August 2nd

For breakfast I had 1 cup of oatmeal, 1 Tbs. of natural peanut butter, a banana, and 2 cups of 1% milk. I love oatmeal but I don’t eat it very much in the summertime. It’s more of a fall/winter breakfast for me. But this really hit the spot and I forgot how filling it was! This was a 10 point breakfast, a little more than usual, but I was trying to get my dairy in for the day.

After lunch it just went all down hill from there. We ate at my in-law's for lunch and the food is always delicious! It wasn’t majorly unhealthy, I think I just felt like I had screwed up or something. I had a small grilled pork chop, fresh tomatoes, potato salad, and 1 kolache. For dessert we had this delicious graham cracker bottom w/ cream cheese filling and peaches on top- SO GOOD! I have no idea how many points that was.

Later on, I had some of those chocolate stars again! Ack!

For supper we ended up ordering a pizza. My husband likes the All meat, so we went with that. I had 2 pieces of that. My MIL sent more dessert home with us, so I had another piece of that!

What a mess of a day eating wise!

August 1, 2009 Eats

It was so nice to sleep in this morning, we got up around 8:00. I have lost a little bit of weight since weigh in on Wednesday, my goal is to get the 2.4 lbs that I gained off this week! For breakfast I had corn chex (with milk), blueberries, orange juice, and a banana.

While my husband went to the chiropractor, I spent some time catching up on blogs and emails. I did some laundry and cleaned up the house. I also started using my new coupon organizer, which I’m excited about!

For lunch I had 2 ears of sweet corn (SO GOOD), and 2 tomato (w/ light miracle whip) sandwiches on light whole wheat bread. These are one of my favorite sandwiches for the summer time with those fresh tomatoes! It’s so nice getting all of this produce from my in-laws, it’s all organic too!

For dessert (sweets are ok when they are planned and controlled), I had 1 chocolate pudding cup mixed with fresh strawberries.

After lunch we went to the pool for about 3 hours. It felt SOOO good! I’m so glad I’m getting a tan this year! While we were there we snacked on some off brand Fiber One Bars.

By the time we got home, we were hungry so we started cooking supper. We had a chicken breast w/ provolone cheese, zucchini, and a baked potato with a little bit of light sour cream.

For dessert we had smoothies made with blueberries, strawberries and a banana. YUMMY!

I’m just getting ready to have some Kettle Corn while we watch a movie! I won’t bother taking a picture of that! :) I think that I did a good job for getting back on track today. A lot healthier food. Part of the problem last week was that I never got around to getting groceries! We’re all stocked up now though! :) At the end of the day, this puts me at 32 points as long as I don’t eat anything else. I might have a tootsie pop, we’ll just have to see.

Update

I’ve decided to start posting pictures of what I eat again to see if that helps me get back on track. I am feeling positive this morning.

I am anticipating some changes at work and I am ready for it! I’m crossing my fingers that they will let me switch accounts. So I have worked for this company for three years and part of the interview process is to take a typing test…seriously, after three years the fact that I can type is unclear. Give me a break…lol Do you see what I mean?

I’m actually ready for school to start back up again so that I can get into that routine again. I hope you all have a great weekend! :)