Today was the first time, in over a week, that I turned to sweets to try to make myself feel better. And wowee—sugar really has an affect when you haven’t eaten much of it!
I ate a Laffy Taffy someone gave me for Valentine’s Day and I also ate a snack size bag of cookies. I suppose that’s not terrible but definitely not a road I want to go down.
That kind of threw eating clean out the window for today and I ate a salad with BBQ sauce and salad dressing for supper. I also had a slice of light bread (still some left) and pumpkin spice cream cheese. I still think that’s a healthy supper choice. Not totally clean, but definitely a healthy choice.
I will need to create a very delicate balance between eating clean and not feeling deprived. So far, I have not felt deprived, but I could also feel myself leaning towards, “well I really blew it, might as well eat whatever I want now” since I ate one small Laffy Taffy. That’s not healthy behavior. But it is noted. Balance. It will be ok to eat foods that are not clean, I just want to eat MOSTLY foods that are clean.
These cravings, my terrible days, weight gain, and the ginormous red zits on my face all point to the fact that TOM is looming. Joy. And tomorrow is weigh in day. I WILL NOT LET IT TRIP ME UP THIS TIME. Last time I was doing really well, TOM arrived and I had a gain on weigh in day after a good week. I let it totally derail me. Not this time! I have to stay strong!
Why is chocolate so appealing during TOM? It’s no coincidence and I know I’m not the only one. It would be a marketing genius to sell chocolate in the tampons aisle. Just sayin’.
I’d love to go into hiding to cover my horrific zits. However, I have a job. I suppose I could wear a ski mask. No, strike that thought. That wouldn’t go over well.
My only chance is the massive snow storm we are expected to get on Thursday. Maybe, just MAYBE, we will get 4 feet of snow and for once they will close the office that I work at. Work hasn’t been kind to me this week. It ain’t happening.
So tomorrow, I will weigh myself, take a good look at my zitty face in the mirror, and give myself a pep talk.
“This is life, my dear. Use some Pro Active, avoid the chocolate, and don’t let the turkeys get you down!”
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The all or nothing mentality is hard to beat. Just acknowledge you didn't make the best food decision and try to figure out why rather than feeling discouraged.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about weighing only once a month, fitting it in to be either before or after TOM when you don't have bloat? It seems to bother you even when you know what is causing it.
Are your cycles all messed up, still 2 a month? TOM has a way of just taking over! I even get cravings and a gain during O time. It stinks! Sorry you had a rough day today.
ReplyDeleteStay strong, you are on the right path. Are you still working your part-time writing job?
ReplyDeleteTOM always messes me up! I have a really hard time with all or nothing mentality too..slowly working on getting better on that. Be nice to yourself over the next few days :)
ReplyDeleteNo one expects you to be perfect, except YOU!!! Holding ourselves to unattainable standards is only setting ourselves up for failure. I used to do it as an *excuse* to binge. "Oh well, I'm not perfect, I ate that piece of candy. I guess now it's no big deal if I eat a ton of ice cream!!!"
ReplyDeleteWhen really, all I wanted was some ice cream. I now will allow myself to have half a cup of ice cream if I really want it, rather than subconsciously sabotaging my entire day just so I can justify the ice cream.
I'm not sure I'm making any sense, but I think you're doing AWESOME!!! And if TOM is right around the corner and you know it'll mess with your mind, why not skip a weigh in? Afterall.....you don't have to be perfect :-)
We can't eat clean %100 of the time. I found {finally} that as long as the good out weigh the bad days it gets easier and easier. The longer you don't have sugar/processed foods...you don't crave it! To satisfy my sweet tooth I get "Simply Lite" dark chocolate, it's all natural, sugar free and amazing...
ReplyDeleteok and that's so weird..I just saw your goal is 144...so is mine!!! And I've lost 65.5 pounds....whoa...lol
ReplyDeleteawww super cute cup, hang in there girl you are still doing great!!!
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