I did it!! Weigh in Day Recap & Personal Update #PostPartumDepression

Well, I guess that was a dead giveaway in the title! There’s no guessing on the outcome of this weigh in. Yep, it was a loss! But it wasn’t just any old loss…

It was a fantastic loss! And you know why?

Well, first… it was 3.8 lbs., which is just amazing for me—the slow loser.

Second of all, I hit my 10 lb. goal! I’ve lost a total of 10.4 lbs. in 5 weeks. Yay! That means that I can get my pedicure (my reward for my 10 lb. goal) any time now!

I knew that last week’s gain of .3 was just a fluke…that’s probably why I had the big loss this week. Most importantly, I didn’t just say “screw it” and go off track after that gain. Instead, I kept on track and the scale gave me some love.

I also want to say that I did not eat all super duper healthy food last week. I just ate what I wanted (well maybe not everything I wanted…) and I counted the points for it. I truly watched my portions. With baby girl’s party, I had cupcakes. I even had a donut with family. But every single point was counted. That doesn’t mean that all I ate was “unhealthy” food—I had MORE of the healthy stuff.

This is exactly how I lost almost 90 lbs. the first time. It seems like when I started to try to “eat clean” or omit certain foods, etc. that I started to slip up. It was too obsessive and no longer fun. I’m just going to be realistic and do my own thing this time. It seems to work.

Stats for the week:

• Weekly Points Used: 48/49
• Activity Points Earned: 19
• Activity Points Used: 0
• Total steps: 44,414
• Weight Loss this Week: –3.8 lbs.
• Total Weight Loss to Date: –10.4 lbs.

I didn’t do so wonderfully in the activity department—but it takes small changes so I’m not going to beat myself up about it.

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I thought I’d give another personal update too. Maybe this makes these weigh in day posts too long, what do you think?

Anyways, I am feeling really great. The addition of the anxiety med really seemed to do the trick. I don’t think I have ever felt so calm and relaxed—it feels very “normal”, like that cloud has been lifted and the heaviness is gone. It’s such a wonderful feeling (this is just in this past week). Now I just need to see how I handle a “stressful” event.

I think my mental health plays a huge role in the weight department. I don’t feel overwhelmed or weary and so I don’t turn to food. I am not so worn out mentally that I don’t have the strength to think about health and making good choices. It will be very interesting to see if this really does the trick for me. Obviously, it takes my effort and it’s not like I’m taking a magic pill—but if the chemical balance was off then maybe that’s what was causing me such trouble (maybe even prior to PPD, just not to the same extent).

It’s a good feeling, let me tell you.

Baby girl continues to be just the cutest little thing ever. *gush and swoon* She’s just so happy like 99.9% of the time. Always smiling and laughing…and making everyone else smile and laugh too. She just has a way about her. She’s very sociable and loves attention from anyone and everyone. She loves to wave and smile at people in the stores.

Don’t get me wrong, she can be very stubborn—like throwing her food on the floor, throwing her sippy cup on the floor, standing up in the seat of the cart, or refusing to sit down when I put her in her high chair. I don’t know that it’s necessarily being naughty but just testing her limits and trying to show her independence, I suppose. She has opinions, I guess. lol

Funny thing though, this morning she threw food on the floor and shook her head no…so she obviously knows she’s not supposed to do it! I’m just trying to practice consistency and hopefully she will stop. She used to like to chew on the furniture (yes, again like a little puppy dog), but with consistently telling her no—she eventually just stopped.

Why didn’t anyone tell me how much I would worry about how to be the right kind of parent? Why didn’t anyone tell me how much I would wonder if I know how to discipline her correctly? Why didn’t anyone tell me how much I would worry that I won’t influence her in the right ways and shape her little life into a girl and woman who is respectable and kind? Why didn’t anyone tell me that I would change when I realized that little eyes were watching and little ears were hearing?

I am most certainly not the woman I was a year ago. It’s been difficult and trying, maybe more so because of the postpartum depression. But it’s been worth it. All of it.

Who knew that this little girl would change my life so much?

Every single moment has lead me to where I am right now---and for that I can be thankful. If there are any other women out there struggling with PPD, it DOES get better.

Much love.