I really need something to get me seriously motivated again. Whatever I do, I cannot seem to get into that mindset that I AM going to do this! I seem to have slip ups everyday and my weight is not going down, if anything it's going slightly upwards.
I've been thinking for a while how I am wasting a lot of money on weight watchers online. I pay $16 a month and I haven't been tracking like I should, nor am I utilizing the website like I did when I first joined. Hubby and I are trying to manage our money better and I could probably eliminate the $16 a month. What I like about WW.com is that I can track my progress from the very beginning with nice charts. I am sure that WW.com has been instrumental in these first 40 lbs. I've lost, but I'm not sure if it's what I need to continue.
Or is it just me? Do I need to force myself to track those points online. Sometimes I wonder if just going back to the old-fashioned tracking in a journal would help me out. I guess I'm afraid of canceling my membership. I feel like I'd be canceling my goal to lose weight, which I don't want to do!
With the two days of exercising that I got in, I started to feel sicker. Yesterday I took as a rest day, and now today I am feeling a little bit better. Not sure what to do about that either? Keep waiting it out, or is it completely unrelated? I have been sick for 6 weeks now I'm really tired of it.
I think If I was up to running again that would really help. I feel so hopeless and helpless. Tears are actually coming to my eyes as I write this. I need help and I just can't seem to help myself right now. I wish I had someone who could cook my meals, tell me exactly what I could eat and there would be no options. That's just it, I have choices, like every other human being, and I'm not making the right ones.
Just today, I had done very well. I came home, had some smart pop popcorn, which is fine. Then I indulged in 3 truffles, a mini Hershey's bar, and 12 whoppers. I understand that I need to get that stuff out of the house but I don't feel right throwing things away. I'm too attached to that kind of food, and maybe that's another thing to think about.
This weekend I am going to take the time to plan out my days and all 3 meals. I need to be more organized. Thanks for the idea of making a list of all of the foods that I shouldn't touch and the good foods. I think I will try to work on that too.
Overall, I'm a bit of a mess and I don't want to undo all of my hard work. Food should not be that important to me, why do I struggle so much?
I know you're probably tired of hearing me talk about this because I've been posting about getting back on track for a long time now. Bear with me as I fight this battle...I'm trying to be honest as I post on here...I hope you'll stay with me. Your encouragement means the world to me.
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