I weighed in this morning at 217. I gained another 2 lbs. So far I have gained 3.6 lbs since being on this new WW plan. I am frustrated, but I also understand that this past week just wasn’t the best for me. I struggled and struggled and felt like I was barely keeping my head above the water. But I did not stop struggling. And as long as I’m still trying, I think that’s all that matters. We can’t win ‘em all!
But it does have me VERY worried. My hubby had to comfort me as I was in tears last night. I am SO SO scared of gaining my weight back. I have come so far, but we all know how easy it is to gain weight. We’ve all been there. Anyone who struggles with eating and weight issues knows how easy it is. One careless bite can lead to 1,000 and before you know it, you’re back where you began- or WORSE off than when you began. And I am terrified of that happening. It just made me realize that maybe I am more vulnerable than I thought. I thought I had this down. I thought I was really doing it. And I am. But I don’t think I’m completely cured. And that terrifies me. It has made me understand that this struggle is never going to end. I will always have to fight. And I do not want to give up that fight!
So that’s where I stand now.
I decided not to take pictures of my food today. That was before I read your comments and was encouraged by them. 
Thank you to most of you for your kind words. The break was a breath of fresh air though. I have stayed on plan and eaten healthy all day. No worries there! I plan on continuing the picture posts tomorrow. I do need to realize that I do not need acceptance from others, but in accepting myself I can find peace. I need to learn that I do not need the approval of others but I need to learn to approve of myself.
I am thinking that the means of which we reach the destination does not matter, but as long as the vehicle in which I choose to travel gets me closer to health, that’s all that matters. While some people need a Cadillac to get where they’re going, some need a bike, or a rusted up Ford pick up truck or a public bus, and some just need their own two feet. No matter the popularity of the program or the speed of success, it’s all about finding the motivation to get in, the inspiration to start it up and and determination to continue along our paths. Just make sure you smile and wave when you pass me by. I’ll meet you there, even if it’s long after you’ve already arrived!
TO HEALTH!
I'm loving this post, especially the last paragraph. "I am thinking that the means of which we reach the destination does not matter, but as long as the vehicle in which I choose to travel gets me closer to health, that’s all that matters" - That is SO true! And I wouldn't ever pass you by. I'd stop and walk right along with you until we BOTH got there. :)
ReplyDeleteYour love for getting healthy is what's gonna get you there. You have a passion that is anchoring you to your goal. You'll get to your goal. There's always gonna be set backs. But you're strong and have shown it in the past. You can do it.
ReplyDeleteI actually needed to read this post right now too. It made me re-evaluate a bit as I've been having some bad days too.
Just remember that one meal or even one day of crappy eating will not destroy all your progress.
ReplyDeleteIn the past if I had one bad day I would throw in the towel.
We all have these days of feeling like we will never conquer this obsession with food that some of us have.
I am 15 weeks in and I have made HUGE strides but I am FAR from being cured!
I have done WW so many times and then quit. It was not until this go round that I finally realized that I needed to do what works for me and I started counting calories. It's not for everyone. Just like JC or NS is not for everyone. But it works for me. Maybe that is what you need to find. Maybe the old WW program works for you better. But only you can decide that. I wish you the best!
this is only one week - you can do it!
ReplyDeleteBelieve in yourself. You have done so amazing, and I have no doubt that you will get to your goal, and you'll keep it off :D
ReplyDeletedo what works for you!! I am back at the old WW program, and so mad that I spent $61 that stinkin day at WWers!!! I may gain this week because of the prime rib twice this week, but I am not giving up on it!! lost too much to give up now!! ditto for you! you have done great, a few bumps are ok, do what works for you and feel good about it :P
ReplyDelete(((( hugs)))))
Just do your thing girl!! It has worked so well for you so far! You are doing amazing and you know what has worked and will continue to do amazing :D Even I get scared of gaining weight back, being at a low/healthy weight, but A LOT of times it is just head games and fluctuations, you just need to stick to your guns! I don't think sweets should be forbidden, but I do think lots of veggies should be included. They provide major fiber and minimum calories. I've started doing this and I feel great! But like I said, DO what works for YOU!
ReplyDeleteYou have an amazing attitude! Don't ever give up on yourself!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some advice for you, but I don't. This whole weight loss thing is freaking hard, and you are so right, it is a never ending battle. But you are worth that fight. You aren't giving up, and that is THE most important thing. I know you won't give up because it is so obvious that you don't want to get back to where you were. That really says something positive about you! As far as the plan goes, maybe you can check around the message boards and see if anyone else is having a similar issue. If all else fails, maybe you can go back to the old WW plan, especially if you have or can find one of the old calculators somewhere. There are always options, and I'll support WHATEVER you decide; I want to see you continue to succeed! You deserve this.
ReplyDeletelove your blog! I can totally relate to everything you're saying!! But recognizing now any troubled areas in the diet or the things that you are doing really well will only make things easier!! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteDana :)
{hugs} and continue to be encouraged. a few pounds do not erased all the lessons you learned in your journey. they have a strong foundation in you and this will only make you stronger (because you are). Keep us posted and reach out on twitter for encouragement on the go, whenever you need. May God continue to bless you. I admire you, Cintia.
ReplyDeleteI just read the other posts (I'm so behind in my reader!) and I love this post. What you've been doing works for you and that's all that matters. The new WW plan may not be for you (I've recently read several people are seeing gains from it), and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm a big fan of "don't fix what's not broken." If ONE diet plan worked for everyone, it wouldn't be such a huge market right now.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs!!
I'm sorry you're struggling with the new system, I'm not the biggest fan yet but I have yet to have my first WI on the new plan. I hope it'll work itself out for both of us. However, I'm totally with Mrs. D - don't fix what's not broken. If I don't have continued success with the new plan I have no shame in going back to the old one! I also wanted to thank you for always reading my blog and commenting! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this! Sometimes it seems like others are sailing along and I feel like I'm going soooo slow, and I think I'll never get there. Time flies - except when I'm trying to lose weight.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful gift a supportive husband is, don't you agree.
And I'm walking with you, too!