I have been struggling with blaming myself. Everything is my fault. Everything.
If baby girl starts acting out, I think it’s because I have postpartum depression and it’s making her aggressive.
I worry that she has something wrong with her and it will be all my fault.
I worry that my having to take blood pressure and asthma medications during pregnancy could have caused her hemangioma. I have no basis for thinking this might be the case, I just feel guilty about everything.
When people don’t understand what I’m going through, it causes rifts—and I feel guilty that this even has to be an issue. I hate that I can’t just snap out of it.
I think that maybe I need to try harder—but I know that I’m giving every ounce of my effort and I don’t have any more strength to try any harder. I’m trying so hard.
I feel guilty that I need help. Why am I not strong enough? Why is everything so hard?
I feel bad that I am not a better wife right now. I feel bad that hubby has to deal with this.
There is so much guilt—about everything.
Sorry to be such a debbie downer—just wanted to get this off of my chest. I’m so afraid that this is my new normal. It just can’t be.
