Separating my Primal Urges from my Conscious Thought

So I'm thinking that I may need to have a sugar detox next week so that I can get rid of this sugar-crack cravings! They're been pretty bad. I'm sure it's also partly due to hormones, but still. I think it would help me keep on track.

I have noticed some binge like behavior that past few days-- which was my indication that maybe I was trying to be too restrictive with my choices. It's the whole brain chemistry thing-- when we tell ourselves that we can't eat something, it sends our primal brain into action because it thinks we need said food for survival. At that point, it really does become difficult to eat that food in moderation and a binge is more than likely going to happen.

So, I'm taking that knowledge and applying it. Say I really want some carbs for breakfast, but I've told myself that I shouldn't/can't eat them. Today, I tried something different. I ate a protein shake and ate a bagel with butter. Totally satisfied and not too crazy on the points values. I didn't have any cravings.

Compare that to yesterday when I told myself I couldn't have carbs for breakfast and all I could think about all day was eating sweets. And I did end up eating too many of them-- binge behavior, which in the end is completely counterproductive to the goal of losing weight... even though I think restricting is what I "need" to do.

The goal is to be able to listen to my body and know when I truly want to eat something and I'm not just eating it "because". Know what I mean by that? Something comes over my brain and makes me physically want to eat anything sweet and it's really not because I "want" the food-- it's the primal brain kicking in thinking it's helping me survive.

When I started feeling that way, I remembered to tell myself that "I have a choice". Just because the "primal" brain wants me to consume said food does not mean that the logical part of my brain (the real/conscious me) really needs or wants the food. It's like distinguishing between primal instinct (that are misleading) and conscious thought.

It's about progress, not perfection. Which is good because this week has definitely not been perfect!

First Weekend on Weight Watchers

This weekend opened my eyes to how bad my eating habits have gotten! It was definitely no secret that I wasn't eating right-- but tracking what I'm eating has been an eye opener. I have definitely been eating too many carbs and not enough fruits, veggies, and protein. I have been grabbing what's easy.

We went on a short road trip on Saturday and stopped to grab some coffee at McDonalds. When I looked up the points for the latte I ordered, I saw that it was 21 points. TWENTY-ONE! Can you believe that? So that really messed things up for me-- lesson learned!

I have a lot of work to do, but I guess that's the point!

Since my problem is primarily psychological-- I need to be very careful to not be hard on myself. That means giving myself grace when I fumble around in these first couple of weeks as I get used to developing good eating habits again.

Somehow, I've developed this inner voice that is self-depreciating whenever I do not eat "perfectly". It's like playing all of those negative and judgemental blog comments that I used to get in my head over and over.

Something that I learned from my binge eating program was about the repetitive cycle that goes on. Here is a graphic which explains it.

Does this sound familiar? This is exactly why I am trying to give myself grace. I have felt that anxiety building up about not "following the plan" properly. I tell myself that it's ok and that it's what I do 90% of the time that will make the difference. If I dwell on that 10% when I feel like I've "messed up" the plan-- then I will slide backwards.

The goal is to keep my eyes focused on the outcome and what I want to be instead of what I don't want to be!