Tomorrow

Well, tomorrow is the big day!

I am calling it day one. We won't go over how many "day ones" I've had! But you have not failed until you've failed to try, right?

Sometimes I feel like when I share my latest method of trying to lose weight that I'm not only disappointing myself but also disappointing everyone else. I know it doesn't really matter. I see the success that others continue to have on the same program I was on and I feel very ashamed and embarrassed. Just know that what I am going to do is a very sustainable and healthy method.

It's not that the plan didn't work, but it apparently wasn't sustainable for me and I believe it was a huge trigger to my binge eating, as you mentioned it was for you too, Karla. So thankful you posted that so I knew I wasn't alone in this.

But to see so many people losing pound after pound, it really crushes me. I am proud of them, but it crushes me. That could have been me. I have failed, yet again. And then there's the business side of it that I want to be a part of, but I know that I cannot because I cannot be authentic.

I knew in my heart that it was not a sustainable way to lose weight and keep it off, but I clutch onto every little hope that comes around. I have learned that these types of programs can be a very big problem for those of us with disordered eating. I just need to learn now to share what I'm doing with anyone so I don't have to feel the shame!