On my own

I'm giving the IIFYM thing a try on my own today. I had planned to go off on my own last week until the super-nice coach offered me a free month. But I've been reminded again this week why I wanted to go on my own.

I have this issue with accountability-- I get too stressed out about it and it messes with my head! It's better if I can just follow a plan on my own and I'm the only one who knows if I've messed up or not. Maybe I care too much about what other people think? Oh well.

The good news is that I feel excited to track and pick out my foods today, so that's good! 

Tracking my coffee creamer has once again reminded me of how many carbs I'm drinking in it! It's just one of those things that I don't want to give up because I enjoy it so much and miss it a lot when I don't have it. I'll just have to go easy on it. My coach actually told me that I can go ahead and enjoy my coffee and a latte or two each week, so that was working well. I don't think it's the coffee creamer and latte or two each week that has made me fat anyways-- maybe if I was only 10 lbs. overweight I'd believe that.

But anyways, wish me luck!

What I'm Doing Now

Just checking in!

I've been following a diet plan from a friend of a friend for a little over a month now. This woman plans all of my meals for the week (you eat the same things each day for a week), tells me what to do for exercise (which I haven't yet), and is there for support. This system she uses is called If It Fits Your Macros or IIFYM. Heard of it?

So the first few weeks went really well. I lost about 15 pounds rather quickly! And then PMS hit and threw me off track-- not insanely off track, but enough for me to lose my mojo. I've been struggling to get it back. I'm not giving up though. I just need to be more dedicated and remember WHY I am doing this.

I have a few goals ahead. First, I'll be attending conference again this year and the seats are TINY. Last year, I weighed a good 50 lbs. less and it was uncomfortable. I hate to know what it'd feel like at my current weight.

I also earned a couple of free trips with Thirty-One that I'll be taking this fall and I want to feel good in my skin. We'll be going to the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas in September and then on a cruise to the Bahamas in November. I'm really, really looking forward to both. I need a vacation SO BADLY.

I miss the feeling of accomplishment that I used to have back when I had lost all of that weight and was running. I felt good about myself and about life. Lately, I've just been feeling glum-- feeling badly about myself physically, stressed out dealing with a high-energy toddler, and playing the comparison game with other mothers.

But I know enough to try to focus on positive thoughts and not the negative ones. I just miss who I used to  be.