Healthier than Ever

I had a doctor’s appointment on Friday and I have to admit that I was a little worried about the results of my blood tests. We hear all of the warnings about lifestyle and diet and how people like me will develop diabetes, heart problems, etc. I have spent so much time worrying about how unhealthy I must be because I am overweight.

Would you believe that my blood work came back and it’s better than ever? It has never been abnormal—always just fine, but everything has actually improved this year. That’s  just crazy how that works.

My good cholesterol went up, the bad cholesterol went down, my glucose level went down, and my coronary risk ratio went down. Since my sister and mom have been diagnosed with a vitamin D deficiency, I had mine checked and I do have a very slight deficiency so I will add more vitamin D and calcium.

It really makes you wonder how much health comes down to genes and how much is due to behavior. I don’t eat horribly unhealthy—we eat balanced meals, I avoid fried food & fast food, but I tend to overeat (usually for emotional reasons)—hence why I’m overweight. I also eat too much sugar—once again because I use it as an emotional crutch.

It’s a comfort to me that I’m not getting unhealthier as far as the blood work is concerned. I’m so paranoid that I’m going to fall over dead from a heart attack, develop diabetes, etc. I just have to keep working towards good health—I do believe that if I don’t, it’s very likely that I will have problems…just not yet.

It’s nice hearing the doctor tell me that my blood work is “spectacular”. There’s one thing going for me! Most doctor’s would focus on my weight and BMI—but I’m glad she acknowledges the “good” too.

She’s currently researching a therapist that has experience working with disordered eating and I’m hoping to get some help in that respect from someone who has a lot of experience in that department.

I’m feeling desperate with my weight loss journey. I don’t want to give up—but I’m starting to wonder when I need to recognize that what I’m attempting to do isn’t working.

In other news, I got sick Friday night and didn’t feel quite right until Sunday. And then Sunday I got over-stressed taking care of Little Miss Sunshine and had an anxiety attack. Ugh. I was doing so well.

It’s so draining when that happens. I am completely exhausted and then it’s really hard for me to dig myself out of the hole once it gets to that point. I have felt “down” ever since—but I’m trying my best not to let it turn into a depressive episode.

Last night, I found myself thinking about how weary I am of life, how I’m a horrible mother, and all of the thoughts that come along with postpartum depression. I have done so well with keeping my thoughts on a positive track, but I was having a tough time with it last night. I’m glad that in times like that, I can rely on hubby to correct me and tell me that what I’m thinking isn’t true. I just have to talk about what I’m thinking and feeling and that really helps.

Anyways, have a great week!