Little Victories!

Yesterday was a little more of a challenge. I was hungry all day and was really craving sweets.

I actually broke down and baked a cake mix and whipped up a little frosting. I was feeling really guilty about it but continued to tell myself what I recently learned in my Beat Binge Eating program.

There is nothing wrong with a small sweet treat.

I ate one piece and felt satisfied, yet there was something about that feeling of "cheating" that started to get to me. I wanted to go back into the kitchen and have more.

I stood at the stove and looked at the cake. I had a silent conversation with myself and asked, "If this cake were unlimited and I could eat it whenever I wanted to without any guilt, would I still want another piece?" The answer was no.

And so that was it! I only ate one piece and I felt very satisfied! The sweets craving went away and I continued on with my evening.

That's a HUGE triumph for me!

I admit, I am still battling those thoughts of the "all or nothing" mentality. I keep telling myself that it takes little steps and consistency.

Someone commented the other day about my eating habits and deeper issues. You mentioned that maybe I needed to let go of the shakes.

Deep down, I know you are right. I keep fighting it, hoping for different results. I have friendships intertwined with this program and that makes it a little tougher to try to let go of. Although, I don't want to let go of it 100% because I do believe it makes me feel better. I just have to make it my own, and that's what I'm trying to do!

So like you said, I shouldn't feel guilty for eating a salad with a shake. If that's what helps keep me on track to healthier living-- that's perfectly ok!

Did I achieve my goals in 2016?

It's time to check in on last year's goals to see what I actually accomplished!

Here are the goals that I set for myself last year followed by how it actually went.

Reach my Goal Weight:

Ummmm yeh. That didn't even come close to happening. I actually reached the highest weight of my entire life. Huge fail!

Foster Relationships:

This went really well for me! I feel like I made some really great friends this year and that makes me happy. :)

Earn My Previous Yearly Income:

I definitely did amazing in this category! I earned over $10,000 by myself and at home. Yay!

Venture Outside of my Comfort Zone:

I did this quite a bit during 2016. I took a cupcake decorating class and met new people. I went to some Direct Sales events. I put myself out there and made friends.

Continue Learning:

I continue to listen to podcasts and read books. I'd like to read more books though!

Take Regular Me Time:

I have done this pretty regularly, thanks to my in-law's for watching Little Miss Sunshine for me. It kind of goes in waves though-- I'll have plenty of time to myself for a while and then have a stretch of time with no me-time and I really see the effects of it. I definitely need that time alone and I've learned when it's time to take that time!

So basically I accomplished every goal except the weight loss one. No big surprise there, unfortunately! It's a battle I can never seem to win! 

But guess what? Accomplishing all of that other stuff shows that I'm pretty awesome anyways, right?! That's what I'll keep telling myself until I believe it!

Next up, setting my goals for 2017!

Getting Started Again

It's the beginning of a new year so that means it's time to set goals again. And, as always, losing weight is at the top of my list. It has to be because I weigh more than ever.

Why is it that every time you lose weight, if you gain it back you also gain back more? Sigh.

Anyways, it is what it is.

Over the last while of eating whatever I want, I have finally gotten over judging myself for every single bite of food I put into my mouth. I will call that progress, even if my weight has gone up.

Now is the tricky part, to begin nourishing my body without thinking of it as deprivation or as a diet. It's a mental thing.

I have been working on accepting myself as who I am. That I can be both overweight and accepted at the same time. That's hard! I'm trying to respect myself more, to just be me and be proud of it. I am learning to love myself for who I am instead of beating myself for who I wish I was. Does that make sense?

So yesterday was my first day. Actually, hubby and I are doing this together again. My plan is to drink my two shakes per day, 2-3 snacks per day, and one healthy meal. Yesterday I was really hungry at lunch, so I had a salad with my shake.

It's about nourishing my body, right? I mean seriously-- just because having a salad with my shake isn't on plan, should I really beat myself up for eating a SALAD? I think I should give myself a pat on the back for choosing something nourishing.

Yesterday wasn't perfect. It was hubby's last day of his vacation and that makes things a little different than when we're in our regular routines! Today should show a little more progress! Overall, I'm happy.

However, I made the mistake of stepping on the scale this morning thinking that I surely shed a lot of weight. Only lost .1 lb. Yep, basically stayed the same. So I had to remind myself that I FEEL better. I feel smaller and lighter and that's what is important!

Are you starting again?