Hello everyone!
I had a relaxing weekend camping and napping. It was just what I needed and I’m feeling much better today. It was so hot and humid outside that we spent most of our time inside the camper with air conditioning, so I’m not sure you would actually call that camping…! ha
I packed a lot of healthy food for us this time and it definitely made me feel better! However, we went to Chili’s for a meal and I convinced myself to order a salad because it would be better for me but I didn’t look at the points until afterwards! It was 38 points. I just couldn’t believe it. So that pretty much did me in for my points. Lesson learned—look up the points prior to eating!
Anyways, I’m back to counting the points today and hopefully I can undo some of the damage before Friday! Overall, I’m proud of myself for the improvements for most of my food choices—but there’s still room for improvement!
I did a lot of thinking this weekend about my next step. Talking about all of this in therapy has me wondering if my core issue is that I do not respect or love myself enough. Hence, I sabotage myself and make poor choices over and over again.
I think that a great plan of action would be to consider the impact of my choices before making a choice. Instead of thinking “I hate my body. I need to lose weight and because of this I’m going to eat a salad for lunch even though what I really want is sugary cereal”, I will think “Because I love myself and care about my health, I’m going to eat this nutritious salad for lunch because I know it’s what my body needs”. Make sense?
This way of thinking will help me to place value on myself rather than on food. I will learn to love and respect myself more than I love eating cookies. That sounds kind of weird—like I’m a cookie monster or something! But that’s really the choice that I’m making when I choose to overindulge in cookies—I want cookies more than I want to meet my goals and take care of myself.
I’m sure this sounds pretty easy to anyone who does not have issues with disordered eating. I’m starting to learn that maybe this is my problem. I never wanted to admit that I was a binger, but maybe I am. I am continuing to look inward to reach the very core of my issues so I can finally get to the bottom of my weight problems. It’s going to take a lot of work.
Seriously, just today I thought, “eating oatmeal would be something I could do to show love and respect for my body. Nah, I’d rather eat cereal.” So somehow I am going to have to want to meet my goals more than I want to eat or receive whatever comfort I receive from food.
Any tips for me as I attempt this?
Sorry....just had a little laugh out loud moment about your oatmeal vs. sugary cereal comment. Been there.
ReplyDeleteI keep reminding myself to take small steps and even though minutes, hours and such seem to drag on and on and on while I am "being more mindful of my eating" THOSE mindful minutes will be wonderful in my future years with my healthier self. ;-)
For me, I have to really think about how a certain food is going to make me feel and then weigh my options. For example, I LOVE a Taco Bell Mexican Pizza. I know that it is 15 points, and I also know that I generally feel bloated and sluggish after eating one. 9 times out 10, it's remembering that feeling rather than the points value that keeps me from getting one. (The 10th time is when I finally order it, lol).
ReplyDeleteI have the opposite cereal vs oatmeal problem. I don't really care for cold cereal, but I loooove oatmeal. I discovered the magic of eating cold oatmeal, and it's perfect for the warmer months! My favorites that I make are chocolate peanut butter, and blueberry muffin. You just have to play around with food and find healthier options that appeal to you just as much as their less-healthy counterparts.
Also, I hate when you order something trying to be healthy, only to find out that it was probably just as bad as whatever it was that you really wanted! Oh well. Live and learn :)
It's going to take you time to believe that you are worth the change. That's why just saying that thing about the oatmeal doesn't necessarily stick just yet. Keep practicing it, though. Sometimes I will ask myself "which choice would be more likely to allow me to reach my goals?" That reframes it and can take the immediacy out of wanting something sweet or really caloric.
ReplyDeleteOmw. How awful. Been there, done that with a Zaxby's salad!!! Nothing more frustrating than having 38 points of salad versus 38 points of ooey gooey stuff when you thought you were making a smarter choice. LOL I have no advice on the self love thing. I tend to notice my self love revolves around hormones - 2 weeks I view myself as motivated and worth it and 2 other weeks I eat junky as a form of "I don't care! I'll never lose weight anyway."
ReplyDeleteSometime I try to think....God gave me this body, not to put ugly food into it, but good clean healthy food into it. Sometimes it helps. I also try to think how that junk food will make me feel. Bloated, sluggish, depressed....That helps too :) You are a beautiful person and and wonderful mom. Don't ever forget how much you mean to others in your life. Take care of yourself for them as well as yourself :)
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