More than my Weight

I just posted about how I didn’t have anything else to say about weight loss and wouldn’t you know, I follow that up with a post about weight loss.

So here’s what got me thinking. I had basically stopped blogging regularly because I knew I wasn’t a super star in the weight loss world and felt like nobody wanted to read what I had to say.

And then you all commented about how there was more to me than my weight and that you all wanted to know about me as a person too.

It hit me as I read your comments. I let my weight control my identity. I allow my worth to be the equivalent of my weight on the scale. The higher the number, the less value I have as a person. My happiness is largely controlled by how my clothes fit.

In my mind, I am only as good as what I currently weigh.

When I lost almost 90 lbs., I discovered that I had worth. This was new to me because it was the first time I had ever lost a significant amount of weight in my adult life. I thought I had figured it out. I was not my weight. I was an amazing person who could accomplish anything that I set my mind to.

In retrospect, having gained back almost 40 of those lbs., I realize that even then, my worth was the equivalent to the number on the scale. I valued myself because I weighed less. And today, that part of my mentality hasn’t changed a bit. I despise myself because I weigh more.

If I am not solely a reflection of the number on the scale, then who am I? As a first step to learn to truly love myself for who I am, beyond the scale, I’m going to tell you who I am.

I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and friend. I am a child of God. I am a an editor, a technical writer, a marketing writer, a blogger, and photographer. I am a cook, a gardener, an artist, and singer. I am a walker, a jogger, a biker, and swimmer.

I am so much more than my weight. One of these days, I’ll believe it.