The big decision I made

Since it is now official, I’ll share what my big decision a couple of weeks ago was.

I quit my job as a reporter.

No biggie, right?

Well, this is the first time I have ever quit a job for a reason other than moving away. And two weeks later, it is final!

This took a lot of courage and strength for me to do. I had to make a decision. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how I often sit in indecision until something happens that shoves me into a decision. And this time, I didn’t want that to happen; I had to take control.

This choice was about being true to myself. It was about pursuing happiness. It was a choice that made it clear that I believe I am worth it.

As you may remember, I was very excited when I got this job. I enjoyed some parts about it, like an awesome boss and having a lot of freedom, but there were more aspects about it that I didn’t like. I met some wonderful people in this job and I am very thankful for that. But without going into very much detail, as you know, there are two sides to that coin—and I am worth more than that. I deserve more than that.

This was a part time job where I worked up to 20 hours per week. Take that in addition to my full time job of 40 hours per week and other duties as a wife, friend, etc., and it just became too me overwhelming for me. After working, I was too mentally exhausted to do much of anything else. And if you truly have a passion for something, you don’t feel that way about doing it.

Working out has become a chore, emotions and stress made me want to eat (and I did), and I have gained weight. My health, physically and emotionally, has suffered. Two weeks ago, I felt physically ill and mentally drained. I spent the majority of the day in bed resting and trying to heal my mind. I realized that what I was doing just wasn’t working. My body was very clearly telling me that enough was enough. And before a certain someone tells me about how they work a gazillion hours, take care of children, and save the world while doing it—I am very proud of you for your efforts, but I hope you know when to say enough is enough, if that moment ever comes to you. Because I did.

Enough is enough. It is time for change. And I don’t know if freeing up my time and ridding myself of the added stress is going to have a drastic affect on my life, I like to hope that it will. I know I will be happier because of it, and for that- I am grateful.

I am excited to find out what the next chapter in my writing and publishing career is. I have certainly found that writing is my passion. I currently have a full time job as a technical writer and editor and that has been a blessing. But I want to pursue more in addition to that. I want to start to delve into writing for writing’s sake. Maybe try my hand at fiction or personal essay. I want to try to express the deepest feelings in human nature so that others can read about them and feel them too. I want to share what’s going on in this head of mine and exercise my creativity.

I hope to share some of this on my blog with you—my loyal readers!

At the end of this LONG post (thanks for reading!), I want to leave you with this message: listen to your heart; be true to yourself. If you have given something your best shot and know that it’s just not for you, or not meant to be, just let it go. It’s not quitting—it’s declaring that you have fought, you have conquered, and you are ready for your next victory.

And as always, YOU ARE WORTH IT and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.