Pages

Monday, February 18, 2013

It is what it is…

What a day…I’m sure glad it’s over but I’m not ready for it all to begin again tomorrow. It is what it is.

The day began with hubby leaving for the week. I.Hate.That. Hate it x 1 million. But it is what it is.

When I got to work, I weighed in for the company weight loss contest. Their scale is 13 lbs. heavier than my home scale. What the what?! It is what it is.

Friday wasn’t a very good day for me. I was made to feel like I was worthless and unappreciated. Never a good feeling. But it inspires me to do better for myself because I know I deserve it. I was never quite able to shake that feeling over the weekend, so it kind of trickled over into my Monday…It is what it is.

This morning I was promptly greeted with another proverbial slap in the face. But I do respect myself these days and I know that I deserve better. That is one fabulous gift I have received from this weight loss journey. I have learned to value and respect myself. And I expect that others will respect me too. Darn it, I am WORTH IT. It is what it is.

And then…someone noticed a white hair. Oh.My.Word. You may as well have told me you saw wrinkles on my forehead, that I should start planning for nursing home care, start researching the best quality adult diapers, or that I would need to walk with a cane. Because that’s what I see in my mind’s eye.

I am too young for white hair!! I thought it was hidden at the base of my head. And then when the girl said, “Ohhhh look at this!” and my other co-worker promptly responded, “Oh, are you noticing her white hairs?” WHATTT!?!?! You all noticed my white hairs and didn’t try to alert me of this fact? I cannot have white hair yet. I am 27 years old. 27! Not 90! I don’t even have kids yet! It’s not possible to get white hair before you have kids, is it?! Oh please. Sniff, sniff, is that ammonia? Mmhmm. It is what it is.

But then my Dad is in town and he listened to me gripe and vent about my day. He gave me the kind of advice that told me to value and respect myself. He made me feel like I AM WORTH it. He made me feel like I deserve better. He reminded me to dream big and overcome all of the small things and small people in this world. Life is what I make of it. It is what it is.

And then when I realized that I hadn’t heard from hubby all day and when he didn’t answer his phone I started to get frantic with worry, it all became clearer. When he finally called me back to say that everything was ok and the cell phone reception was bad, it all became clearer. Can you hear me now? I hear you now. The one I love is safe. He still loves me more than I deserve. A couple of weeks ago he brought me flowers with a note that said, “Just so you know that you are treasured.” All is right in my world. I am blessed. It is what it is…and I am thankful.

6 comments:

  1. Oh I hate when I can't get ahold of hubby and worry takes over! Glad everything was okay. Sorry you had a bad Friday/Monday. I was around your age when I noticed my first thick, coarse white hair. I was shocked!!! I just ripped it out at the roots. LOL Hope your Tuesday is much better!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I always worry when I can't get hubby. And don't worry about a few greys. I had them when I was 19 :) lol Embrace them or color them :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totlly freak when i cant get him on the phone, I used to freak way worse though haha so i am improving I guess! LOL But you are soo worth it girl, dont worry about those greys get you some highlights, I plan to stay blonde for a while so if they come I will never know :) hahaha but serisouly dont worry about it, if it makes you feel bad just dye it and ignore those haters and their big mouths, in fact pity them because it sounds like they werent raised with any manners.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I used to panic a lot when my hubby was late coming in from work. Sorry you had a bad day. Hair dye is my FRIEND.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I just had a chat with my friend that the worst battles in this journey are in the mind. People say things, we worry, etc. etc., but just keep reminding yourself of all the positives.

    Oh yea..and I had grays around 30-34 .. totally normal for some of us. :)

    Hang in there. The week will fly by!!

    ReplyDelete